This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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