I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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