The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
