What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
