Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
