i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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