Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
