if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
