You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
