Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
