six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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