I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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