Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
