just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
