My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
