Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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