Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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