am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
