I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
