i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
