Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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