There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
