Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're so nebulous sometimes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
