By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize