The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
