If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
