its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
