in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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