Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
