Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
