Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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