you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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