so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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