My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
