After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
then he tried to convert me to islam
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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