It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize