I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
