Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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