this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
