just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
