member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
