alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
