nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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