I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
