nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
