..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
