Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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