Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
