If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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