Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
