tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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