FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
