Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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