Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
