neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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