im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
