I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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