he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You are the jesus of drinking
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
