If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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