She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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