I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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